Wednesday, July 22, 2009

No day but today...

Whoa... it's been a while since I've updated this blog. Time to crack the whip and get a few things off my chest. First off, I have to reflect off of a blog that I just read by my friend, Alysa. Wow. Talk about eye opening... I mean, there's nothing worse than feeling like you are alone - especially in your problems when you feel like no can relate or sympathize with what you are going through. A break up for example... when you are at your worst, there's nothing more comforting than a friend that has been there too. I've said it before I think but I'll say it again...

I'm 28 years old and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Luckily, I'm only 5'6" so I'll never really "grow up". But really, yeah I went to school... yeah I worked at ESPN for 5+ years... yeah I have job now. But am I happy? No, not really. My main concern is that growing up I always did a lot of things. Karate, Judo, Piano, Trumpet, Baseball, Softball, Theatre... and I went to school or had a job during the day. But when you take all of those things, it's what makes me, well, me. When you JUST have school... or JUST have a job. Then it's not me. Never has been... and looking at my parents, it never will be. I always load up my plate with everything that could possible handle. And yes, guilty of stretching myself a bit thin at times, but its what I do. For those that read this (which I know there aren't many... if any of you), you could probably remember that I was extreme happy with my involvement in AIDA back a few months. What a rush. But once the show ended - so did my ability to get involved in the things that I do outside of work. Music... Theatre... Martial Arts... Softball... when the stars aligned from time to time, yes I was able make it to a softball game or make it to a Marching Band rehearsal. But that's it. And, sorry to steal from my friend Alysa but it kinda has put me in a bit of a fog lately. Work life balance? Not here.

Luckily, things that have been cheering me up lately is the Thomaston Opera House 2010 season. Check it out... Forever Plaid, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Cinderella, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and .....(drum roll).... RENT!!! I must confess, I'm not what you call a "RENThead" by any means. In fact, when I saw it on Broadway, it didn't really impress me all that much. I think that's attributed to the fact that everyone around was freakin' bananas over the show. But needless to say, I'm become a big fan. And since my ipod cassette connector just shit the bed in my car, I'm stuck with CDs again. And the ONLY CD I have in my car right now is... yeah, you guessed it - RENT. The preparation for auditions have begun!! (now does the opening line in this entry make sense now?)

Unfortunately, this entry doesn't really have a happy ending. It's just where I am now. What's next for me? Who knows... but I do know that I need to figure something out. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

Take this all as a moment of "self-awarement":

I know where I am.
I know where I've come from.
I know what makes me happy.
I know I need a change.
I know where I need to go.
I know that where ever it is... I'm going to get there.
I know someday, I'll be back on stage.